Mummy Harris's Journal

"You got it wrong Mum!"

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:43:19 GMT

Often while i do things i sing little tunes - sometimes not even realising what i'm singing. Silly things get into my head from all over the place - often a single line from a song.

So there i am, in a bit of a daze, pottering around, changing Breana's nappy (We're having a rather extended break from toilet training at the moment - Why me!?!?!?!?!?!).

Then:

"Mum! You got it wrong!"

Rather surprised, i looked at Breana, trying to figure out what she was talking about. "Hmmm?"

"You sit down to eat rice! You got it wrong!"

This is when i realised that the line of song going round and roung my head (and apparently being sung out loud) at the time was "Get Up! Stand Up! Stand up for your rights!"

Breana's First Riding lesson! :)

Thu, 21 May 2009 06:51:50 GMT

We've just come home from a riding lesson out at Forest Park Centre in Deakin. I have to say that i was impressed! She was respectful to the horses (probably thanks to Emma the grumpy Dobe) and sat beautifully on the pony she was given (a very old boy called Sam - in fact, their oldest).

Sam obviously knew the drill VERY WELL and was actually taking his cues from me (walking him on a lead rope while she rode), not Breana, which was a little disappointing. When i first realised this, i tried not giving the cues, so that she could do it - and she was doing it reasonably correctly. But the old boy just sat and waited for me to give him the cues, so i had to just time things so that he did what she wanted when she wanted it...

But all in all, she rode well - sitting up confidently and well. She even picked up that her stirrups were not adjusted properly on the opposite side to me (grrr - next time i check BOTH myself at the start!). And when Sam trotted, instead of hunching over and grabbing the saddle like the 3 other little ones (all around her age or slightly older - and all had had more than 1 lesson!), she sat back, held on with her legs like i told her, looked relaxed and didn't even saw on the reins!!!

Again i say i was impressed! :) :) :)

I'm such a proud mum! ;)

I think i finally have a sporting activity to apply for funding for! :) (Tandem and the CFA keep sending me forms to apply for sporting funding, but other than swimming, which she so often can't do, i've not previously found anything that we were both enthusiastic about!)

Breana in hospital again - tomorrow

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:19:55 GMT

Just a quick note to let people know that Breana is going into hospital for 2 weeks of IV antibiotics starting lunch time tomorrow.

She isn't actually showing any symptoms at the moment, but has one of the nastier bugs growing in her lungs, which refused to die after a month of heavy-duty antibiotics at home.

She will inevitably be extremely bored and very appreciative of visitors! Give me a call to check first though...

The unexpected benefits...

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 22:22:25 GMT

You get a new puppy - the house gets messy, everything gets chewed - just something to put up with until he learns better.

However:

Breana "Mooooooooooom! He's chewing my boot!! Make him stop!"
Me: "Why don't you put it away?"
Breana: puts away boots (presumably by just throwing into her bedroom as per usual.

5 minutes later...

Breana: "Moooooooooooom! He's chewing my boot again!"
Me: "Did you close the wardrobe door when you put it away? If you did that, he couldn't get to it."
Breana: puts away boots properly and closes wardrobe door.

5 minutes later...

Breana: "Moooooooooom! Now he's chewing my car!"
Me: "Why don't you look around and make sure that there aren't any of your toys left on the floor for him to chew?"
Breana: picks up and puts away all her toys.
Me: looks on in awe at small child actually cleaning up without me constantly badgering her. Wow!

I love this puppy!

M :)

It's 1 am, i'm tired, yet caffeinated and feel like having a whinge... ignore at will ;)

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 14:35:13 GMT

Feet and back hurt from standing up for the last 7 or so hours. Why was a standing up? because i'd run out of easy and quick to cook food and have spent that amount of time cooking (i'm also very slow at cooking - but now have a hugely stacked freezer! Yay! :)

Knee hurts...netball is evil! (Yet fun....how to resolve this? Play and not get hurt. That's my plan! :)

But most of all, the whinginess that is oozing out of every pore right now is to do with Breana's current meds. They suck. They suck in Soooooooooooooooooooo many ways. Let me count them...

* back on the one that gives her arthritis symptoms - fun pain and aching joints for my baby for the next month.
* back on one that involves a nebulizer, which eaither means lugging the stupid thing about to daycare or getting both of us up really early in the morning - neither appeals + she hates it and it is a general pain to have to try to get her to sit still while doing something she hates for 20 or so minutes twice a day.
* being suddenly put on 3 different heavy duty antibiotic has had the expected result in terms of output. suddenly toilet training, which was going oh so well, if being filled with accidents - she is losing confidence too...not good. And then there is the fun of being woken up at all hours by "Mum! My bed is full of poo!" and the obligatory washing of child, bed, toys, linen, me, etc...etc...etc...
* One of the antibiotics can't come in solution form "But you can crush it!" Great...now i also need to drag a mortar and pestle to daycare and fiddle about with little powdery antibiotics, which have an alarming ease of being breathed in when powdered. Add awkwardness with then mixing it with water, fiddling abuot with tubes and the fact that it has to be given at least 2 hours after food and 1/2 hour before food. Just try that with a toddler! They snack all the time...even Breana! It pretty much means that for the next month morning tea is right out. And at the same time we now have a monthly appointment with a child psychologist to talk about ways i can try to encourage her to eat... *sigh*
* One of the antibiotics needs to be given with food...not too much of an issue...but another minor added annoyance. Oddly enough it smells absolutely delicious and i keep wanting to drink it myself instead of giving it to her (probably doesn't taste like it smells...but hey, next time i need antibiotics for whatever reason - i'm going with that one!)
* "Oh and by the way...make sure you don't breath the Tobramyacin in yourself". Um.....? I sit, holding an unhappy child on my lap while trying to convince her that breathing foul-smelling vapour is fun, for 20+ minutes, twice a day, pumping Tobramyacin vapour into the air around us, mostly via her lungs, but not completely. What am I supposed to be breathing for that time????!!!???

I've decided that i'm going to sit this set of lung infections out...no meds! No weird preparations! No lugging equipment around everywhere! No changing disgusting beds and nappies! No endless piles of washing. No...um.... *sigh* ...no alternative... again i say *sigh*

Ah well... I shall be more home-bound than normal for the next month (hopefully only a month - the infections are nasty bugs, but were caught before symptoms developed, so i'm hoping for the best), so those of you that have cared enough to read all the way through this whiny ranting, please come and visit us so that i know people still exist...at least...i think they do....

Now to try to sleep...or possibly to sit and beat my head against a wall for a while. Could be fun?

M :)

Toy adoration

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 10:11:42 GMT

Breana gazes adoringly at her new Eva plushie (from Wall-E movie), kisses her, gives her a big hug and looks at me "Mummy this Eva is awesome!"

He he!

...amusements

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 14:30:44 GMT

Posted a few moments ago, checked on Breana of the evil gastro-virus (hasn't exploded yet tonight...perhaps she's waiting until i try sleeping?) and then wandered out to the kitchen to find my previously shiny, just-cleaned kitchen absolutely soaking in water. Barely a spot was missed. And yet, the only other difference was that the dinner bowl with the caked on nachos remains, which i'd left soaking in the sink, was empty/

A small forlorn chirp comes from the bird's perch near the door. Soaking wet, shivering and smelling like nachos, Taka bird was obviously regretting his late night bath. Comfort, dry, then put back to bed...

And on another odd, yet amusing note - Breana's current bed companions are her eternally present Baby Dragon (of course), A small stuffed cat with a santa hat that i don't actually recall having ever seen before, and a large and quite realistic stuffed spider with a body the size of a fist and legs that extend further than a dinner plate. They are all snuggled up together - the spider of course has his legs folded together to allow maximum snuggliness.

He he... now for sleep.

Late night...

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 14:12:47 GMT

Finally the heat of the day is fading and i can come alive! Decide to go nocturnal - i've done it before! Sleep through the hot days and live in the bearable nights. Perfect! Hours of peace - undisturbed and cool!

I mean...it's not as if i have anything to stop me doing this....like a job....or a small child...or...

*sigh*

Living for the cooler days...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz

"M...ooooo...m! It turned into a drink!!!!!!"

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 01:43:20 GMT

Outraged cry comes from small child. (btw - where did she get the american accent?)

Bemused me tries to figure out what could possibly have offended Yana by turning into a drink. What could have turned into a drink, offensively or not?

Finally i realise that it was a cup of crushed ice that i had given her this morning, She had decided not to 'crunch' it all, but to instead put about half of it aside to eat later. A couple of hours later she went back and...

M :)

Amusing Small Child Moment

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 13:31:14 GMT

Small child wakes up in the middle of the night crying in pain (ok...this isn't the amusing bit).

She is in so much pain that she can't tell me what is wrong.

Process of Yes/No questions establish that her tummy is the problem and guessing it is gas, i grab the tubes and do a quick stomach pump to relieve the pressure (there are some benefits to having a technochild).

Small child smiles, then very brightly and clearly says "Thanks Mum!" and then rolls over and falls instantly asleep.

She's so cute sometimes!!!

M :)

Sad Eyes...

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 08:57:46 GMT

One thing Breana came up with, during this hospital visit, is the most incredible sad-eyed expression. It was truly stunning and nearly broke me each time she used it. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese stay here with me tonight Mummy!"

But at the same time, it was obviously a rehearsed pose. I figured one of the nurses or physiotherapists, etc, taught her how to do it.

However, earlier this evening, i watched "Over Da Hedge" with her - and for me it was the first time i'd seen the entire movie.

And i saw that very same expression - on Hammy Hamster!!!!!! That scene where the racoon guilt trips the other critters into letting him stay...

Somehow i think it might have less effect on me the next time she uses it! ;)

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 10:00:33 GMT

Hey all

It looks like i'll be able to arrange some leave from the hospital so that Breana can come to Pixie's Floriade Picnic. She probably won't be allowed to be away long enough to walk around with everyone though. But she would love it just to be outside with people she knows and loves! :)

Yay!!
Yay!!

For those that didn't know, Breana has been in hospital for about a week now with tonsilitis and a lung infection, after being quite sick for weeks before that. She is on an IV drip and rather annoyingly (particularly for her) they couldn't find an arm vein good enough to stick it in, so they put a central line in her neck!!!!!! *sigh* (Those who are queasy at the sight of such things need not worry as it is abundantly covered in dressing).

Breana is doing much better at the moment, with her tonsils and glands deflating to only 'moderately larger than normal'. She is also getting periods of energy where she is more or less her normal self - these are getting longer and longer each day. We even went outside today, since it was such a nice day! Her lungs started getting a bit crackly for a while there, but seem to have cleared up in the last couple of days. Although i am somewhat worried that the room next door has a sign asking people to take precautions against airborne contaminants! Hmmm... Fortunately that door remains mostly shut.

She is due to finish her IV antibiotics next Wednesday or Thursday (different doctors have told me different times), so with luck she should be home late next week. And hopefully she will be a much healthier girl than when she left home.

Happy me!

Plans for tonight: 1) have dinner, 2) have some 'me time' (maybe some TV and sewing?), 3) sleep... then back to the hospital! Gotta love the simplicity of my life! ;)

The Plague - Warning to Visitors!

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:36:49 GMT

And just to complicate things: I just got diagnosed with Whooping Cough! Highly contagious and long-lasting. So those thinking about visiting should keep this in mind...and i'll definitely try not to cough near you!

M

Depressed Koko dog needs cheering up :(

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:06:10 GMT

Stuart's dog Koko is staying with me at the moment while he is overseas. She is normally fine with this, but this time something is definitely wrong. She was in what i'd call a serious state of depression, more or less from the moment she arrived. My theory is that she saw Stu's packling and thought he has abandonned her.

I've been doing little things to try to cheer her up and get her involved with the household and since her appetite has stayed ok, i've not worried too much about it. However, the last couple of days her appetite has started to drop off and i don't really like where this is going.

She notably brightened up when Fish came to visit, so i thought i'd put out the call for anyone who knows Koko and has a bit of time to help a depressed mutt, to come on over and help cheer her up. Take her for a walk - or just spend a few minutes patting her while we chat. It all helps.

It's probably best to give me a call first though...

Seeking Bead Curtains!

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 02:00:52 GMT

Bead Curtains - very 70's and tacky, but they form the core of my plan to restrict my Lorikeet's access to Breana's bedroom.

And besides, they're cheap and you find them everywhere - right?

NO!

I checked out a number of junk shops and have been keeping an eye out in various places as i pass through, but it appears that, like the 70's, bead curtains are long gone.

I found a string curtain, which has worked to some degree, but the strings just don't pose enough of a challenge to Taka's aerodynamics. He just flies at it, closes his wings, falls through and then starts flying again. Clever bird!

It is also starting to really annoy me by tangling and strangling me as i try to pass.

So i put out a call: If anyone happens to see a bead curtain that needs a new home and or is for sale, please let me know about it! The heavier the beads, the better.

Thanks!

Death by Salad!

Wed, 28 May 2008 09:09:34 GMT

Ok, so i'm not a huge salad fan to start with. I know they're good for you, yada, yada, but it's a rare salad that i've ever eaten without repeatedly reminding myself of their virtues.

Then yay to me! I get myself into the habit of making and taking salads to work for lunch every day - and sometimes even eating them for lunch on the weekends. Better diet for me! I was actually even starting to enjoy them, having experimented a bit with what combinations of ingredients appealed the most to me.

Last Monday all my good intentions came crashing down around me. I was so tired that i didn't pay attention to just how long that salad i ate had been in the fridge = bad food poisoning :(

But the worst of it is, that even now, the very thought of a salad makes my stomach turn :( I'm even feeling nauseous just writing this post! And i was doing so well!!!

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Hmmmm...lets go and examine other forms of getting those healthy vegetably things into my tummy... Soup anyone? ;)

Sleep achieved - Yay! :)

Fri, 16 May 2008 01:19:03 GMT

While i didn't manage to find anyone willing to do the overnight stint at first, finally Carer's ACT came through and i had a lovely lady (a nurse actually - the only professional people now allowed to give medications at home!) sit with Breana last night while i slept. A whole 6 1/2 hours of sleep in a row!!!

Ahhhhh i remember when i wasn't functional unless i got 8 hours or more... Those were the days ;)

And the best thing is that she is coming back tonight, which means a second night of undisturbed sleep - and because it is a weekend i might even get 7 1/2 hours if i'm really lucky!

It's kinda weird though having a total stranger just sitting in your house, not doing a great deal at all... I sort of feel guilty, as the task is so easy to do...surely i could just keep getting up, after all it's only every 3 hours...but then i think SLEEEEEEP! and the guilt fades away...

After a solid block of sleep and a couple of caffeine tablets, i have so much energy that i feel like going and doing something strenuous or at the least, something entertaining....possibly i should stop posting this journal though and actually do some work so that the nice government people keep paying me money, thus allowing me to buy food, pay for my house, etc. The nice government people who pay me like it if i actually work when i say i'm working. They're funny that way.

Help Needed!

Wed, 14 May 2008 07:40:06 GMT

Breana will need medications every 3 hours during the night for the next few nights (2 at least). I have already had 5 nights of disturbed sleep and i seriously need a night or two of sleep . So i will be turning to my wonderful regular helpers (you know who you are Steffi and Nick ;) to ask for help getting through this.

However, assuming that they have lives that actually require sleep at night, i thought i'd put out a call, just in case there was someone else out there who might consider donating a night of broken sleep to a good cause?

What this involves: 11:30 pm putting Breana on her pump and giving her meds via tube and puffer (I can do the tube stuff if you don't know how), then puffer again at 2:30 am and 5:30 am. Also dealing with any calls for help; pump alarms (generally blocked flow) or disconnections as required - not as hard as it sounds. Full training provided!

I even have an empty bedroom right beside Breana's with a nice comfy single bed and wireless broadband for those who prefer not to try to sleep in the intervening hours.

If you are able to help out, please call or SMS me.

Thanks!

Marissa

Don't look now, but i think my daughter might have been replaced by a changeling!

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 04:48:55 GMT

So this morning, rather than the usual "Mummy, me wake up!" or "Mummy, done poo poos!", i discover my darling daughter is awake by hearing a scream of protest - she had her blanket over her feed line, so it didn't quite stretch as far. This set the tone for the morning.

She didn't want to get up, so there were tears and screams. She didn't want to stay in bed. She didn't want her PJs off. She didn't want *those* pants, top, shoes, etc, etc, etc. Screams, tears and then we're off to daycare.

Normally she loves daycare and enjoys playing with the other kids. She has her share of fights, especially with those of a similar age, but loves and is gentle with the babies. Today she was beating up babies with toys and even their own bottles.

So i've brought her home early and she is now sleeping (after more tears and screams).

But what will await me when she wakes up? Breana the Normally Good, or Breana the Evil Hairy Fanged Monster?

Staying up 'cos i'm a big girl!

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:44:40 GMT

Yup...it's Saturday night, late...and i'm actually feeling rather alive and awake for once. Unfortunately i don't really have any reason for staying awake other than because i can....and so many reasons i should go to sleep (having Breana wake me up at the same time regardless of when i go to sleep is one of them).

Hmmmm....so i use the excuse that i will just post a livejournal message...but i don't actually have anything to say! I guess i could talk about work - it's probably the major thing on my mind at the moment.

Work has been rather stressful, mainly because all the EL1s in my section have left within 2 weeks of one another and we have no replacements in the forseeable future. Two of the level 6's are acting EL1. In one case this is probably a good thing, but the other one is new to the section and only just joined the section and is going to be pushed by the acting work. And oddly enough we are now almost a completely female section, with only one male left. Unfortunately he is one of those guys who is not really comfortable talking with women - go figure. And alas my current job is to help him get some of his outstanding work done. It's like pulling out teeth!!! He just won't communicate! So most of my job at the moment is a combination of trying to extract information from him and guessing what needs to be done where i can't get all the info. Fortunately he's pretty nice and at least tries to be helpful, otherwise i'd be tearing out my hair by now.

Everyone in the whole section is actually acting a level higher than their real levels except me (and the boss). It is kind of annoying, knowing i'm more experienced in the job than anyone and i don't get a chance at acting up a level. But i guess that goes with being part time (which was the reason given when they told me about this). I suspect that this will really annoy me if it continues and i end up having to work part time in the long term. But for the moment my goal is just to get through the winter while not missing too much work and then i can worry about career and stuff like that.

It is a curious thought though - can you have a career when working part time? Or do you need to be full time to have anything other than a place-holding job? (ie enough to live on, but not one where you'd be looking for promotion) When coherent, i am a fairly ambitious person and even now i get the occasional bursts of frustration because of the limitations of my situation. Recently there have been quite a lot of fun new jobs going, both within my work area and in related departments. I keep getting the urge to apply or get involved, then have to remind myself that i could be off work a huge amount of time again this year and so doing anything high-profile is right out of the question. Besides, i've not yet found a single one that was willing to consider a part time person...

And yet 'they' say that the Australian work force is more part-time friendly currently than ever before... I wonder which bit 'they' were looking at to come to this conclusion?

I suppose i really should sleep - if only because the morning shall not be delayed in its arrival and i'm sure that when it does arrive i shall be nowhere near as awake and alert as i am now!

....or i could try going sky-diving? ;)

Discoveries!

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:30:41 GMT

Oooooh! I have discovered that i can access livejournal from work!

Is this a good thing?

Is this a very bad thing?

I guess we are yet to see...

Losing that which makes me me?

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 06:33:27 GMT

This morning, after realising that it had been an incredibly long time since i've actually had time off when i was not sick, horribly tired or running around for Breana, i decided to take a "mental health" day. I woke up rather early and was feeling just fine. I decided to do something special; something just for me; something i'd not normally get the chance to do. Afterall, Breana would be in daycare all day. I'd been sick yesterday, so had slept nearly all day and had only been woken up a couple of times overnight to tend Breana, so i was pretty alive and alert. So all was good - what more could i want?

I lay there for nearly an hour (!!!!!) lost in thoughts that started happily and turned rather depressing after i realised that i could not think of a single thing to do that i actually WANTED to do. My thoughts kept veering down pathways of "I could clean <insert many things needing cleaning>; I could go run that errand while i don't have Breana with me; I could take the chance to repair <insert many and various household things needing repairing>; I could get caught up on my paperwork/whatever".

Every time my brain went towards the things that i SHOULD do, i drew myself back to the fact that this was a chance to do something special. I thought back on things i liked doing before i had Breana, things i'd been putting off for ages, or new things i'd been wanting to try. But i kept coming back to the fact that there was nothing i had even the slightest inclination to do. Not even just going out to the movies - simple and easy to do. I used to enjoy doing that, even if i ended up going on my own. But it doesn't really appeal to me anymore.

The only thing that interested me at all was when i got into the "What if there were no limitations at all" category. And even then, the thing that i wanted to do was to stay here and have many friends turn up to chat, BBQ, maybe boardgame in a relaxing day (it was a much warmer day in this scenario ;). Unfortunately since all my friends failed to pick up on the telepathic summons to forget work/whatever and turn up at my place, this didn't happen. I really have to work on my telepathy skills ;) But even had my telepathy worked, you have to admit a quiet day chatting with friends isn't particularly spectacular for a "no limitations" imagined activity.

So what does this mean? Do i have no interests anymore beyond Breana? Even the name for this journal "Mummyharris" which was chosen by those who set up this journal for me is kind of staring at me accusingly. Am i just Mummy now? Where did Marissa go? Am i so tired/lost/depressed/lonely/etc that my ultimate fantasy has become just having people to talk to? Breana is the light of my life and i could no longer imagine a life without her - but does this have to be at the cost of losing me? I guess this is something most (all?) parents go through and hopefully (?) find some solution to.

On the bright side, i have had a fairly contented (if uninteresting) day, sleeping, reading a book while sitting outside (until it got too cold and the mosquitoes got up in arms) and having quality time with my dogs and lorikeet.

And hey, i've finally now done a second post after weeks since my first post. This too is a good thing. I might try taking my laptop with me when i go to bed to see if i end up posting more often. It is usually in that annoying hour between 10:30 and 11:30 when i know i have to get up again soon to put Breana on her pump, but am too tired to do anything else, that my brain most often chats to itself (and often to many of you in absentia - unless the telepathy IS working?). Perhaps it might like chatting to you instead? I'll have to see...

Celebrating the Eric!

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 08:38:15 GMT

The entire concept of writing to a nameless, faceless group of people (or potentially noone) is really bizzarre. but hey. I'm sure you will have names and faces that i will know if i don't know it already.

Today i finally decided to join livejournal - perhaps i'll go into the reasons at some point, but the event that caused this to happen was Eric's appearance on the TV . YAY ERIC! GO ERIC! :)

So many many people were in my house and supplied their friends account thingies to those who set up my account - thanks Ruth, Barb and Alice! (and anyone else who contributed while i wasn't looking)

Ok...enough for now. I guess if i get used to this i'll post occasionally, if i don't you'll get a few posts fading into a deathly silence. Lets all hope for the best!